The changes in my attitude towards colour has been an interesting development. One that when I stopped and thought about it, didn’t really surprise me.
I’ve loved looking at colours and matching them, finding what goes with them, what compliments them and I really loved finding the unusual colour pairings that just seemed to work. Using colour as an expression of a design was something I loved most of all. I loved bright, muted, neutral, each had their place and in being a designer, it was rather helpful having a love of colour.
Now, all those same colours, that months ago brought so much joy, are screaming at me. They are too loud, and garish, and they feel like they are attacking my senses.
But my attitude towards colour was from a designer point of view, and even though as a designer I leaned towards romantic colours, that is not who I am or what truly expresses me anymore.
This sock, a recent cast on, just seems to sum it all up. I’ve used two colours I loved. I had them picked out to work together, and went to them when I wanted to cast on a pair of socks. All past tense. The one thing I didn’t account for was my changed attitude to colour. I now can’t stand these colours, either singly or combined. I’ve tried to like them, after all I liked them before, surely I should still like them?
But no matter how much I try they just scream at me.
So if I now accept that I just don’t like these colours, and most other colours, what do I do now?
The easy option for these socks is to rip out the pattern, and not knit them with these colours. Easy, decision made, now this is no longer an issue.
But that left me with the question, “Where has all the colour gone?”
If colour is an expression of how we are feeling, and for me right now, my whole world has lost it’s colour, and I don’t feel my world is monochrome either, where on the colour spectrum am I now?
Neutral is where. Colours that while some may say are boring, to me, they are just quietly being themselves. I now crave colours that soothe MY soul, and whisper to MY spirit. I now no longer have to allow designs their expression. Now, I can have colours that allow my introverted self just get on with being my true me.
Only sometimes now, I wonder, if that means colour is gone?
But it’s not really gone, colour has just morphed itself, and is expressing ME as I always have been.